I am finally taking the first step in beginning to write in a blog that is my own, to get some thoughts down and out of my head, to share my feelings and well…. to write whatever the hell I want….when I want.

I am SLOWLY learning that it is alright for me to have an opinion that may differ from yours and it is also okay for me to express it. (Gratefully, I don’t feel the urge to impose my difference of opinion, or your “misunderstanding” and “naivety” of any given subject as soon as you share it).  After all, I have had countless years, hours, and sessions of learning how to properly articulate my feelings without ruffling your feathers. (More so how to just keep my mouth shut because, well, my “perceptions of reality” are distorted, I’m “crazy”, don’t have a lick of damn sense and of course I may say something to cause the big fat grey (*invisible*) elephant to stir around. (He’s old now, and hasn’t been pink for quite some time).

NOTE: “YOU” is not an individual, even 5-10 individuals, but is used to reference countless individuals ranging from teachers, doctors, close and extended family to old acquaintances over the years. (Now why did I just feel the need to elaborate on that?)

Anyway, these past few months have been pretty strange for me.  There is no doubt a retransformation of thoughts and feelings back toward a person I used to love, respect, and feel good about most of the time.  Being spiritual in nature, this is at times an uncomfortable process, but it is a “design for living” that works for me, and I refuse to let fear keep me from the path I have always been destined for due to past experiences.  Rest assured I am “easing in with my baby floaties” and have attained some new “tools” that if properly used should prevent me from getting pulled under again.

As my awesome nephew would say, those who “get the trajectory” of what I am referring to will just get it.  Those who don’t….that’s really alright too.  My blog is for me, but you are more than welcome to stop by anytime.  I have learned to be pretty assertive while respecting your feelings, so I will gladly welcome all comments and questions, while exercising my given right to politely refrain from further discussion or comment if I just don’t feel the need to “go there.”


About beautifulmess3025

I'll forgive you long before I forgive myself. I'll push you away while I am longing to hold you. I find myself thinking of how much you mean to me..without saying it nearly enough. My son is teaching me how to love, laugh, and live:)
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